Parents

Are just people. They are people like you and me. They have their issues, their scars that they carry through life.

The problem with this is that as a child you may suffer. You may end up with a parent that doesn't understand you or that doesn't offer the support or the embrace that you so yearn for.

What you need to understand is that it isn't "doesn't" it's "can't". Your parents, for whatever reason, can't give you what you need. It's like asking a blind person to see... they just can't.

There are two things you can do about this: You can stick around and keep trying to get what you want, hoping that one day the blind will see; or you can accept them for what they are — blind. The latter will free you to move on. The former, if not dealt with, may leave a hole in your sole. A hole that could one day effect your own parenting skills...

Conquering the dragon

My dragon was my dad, and a very fierce one. His fire: making me the smallest person on earth. He had a knack for it — a knack for spitting that fire — and I wasn't the only one that got in its domineering way...

But I've conquered my dragon, its flames can no longer hurt me.

Leaving the business was a big part of that. Bigger, though, is when we occasionally see each other: It seems as if the dragon is nothing but a little lizard...

Choices

If you had to make a choice what would it be:
Hope for the best, stay in the family business and risk living a "what if..." life?
— or —
Hope for the best, leave the family business, living life knowing that you at least gave it a shot?

Tough choice, I know... Each has its benefits; each has its risks...

Wouldn't it be great if someone could decide for you? If someone could calculate the odds and gazing into the future give you the right answer?

I'm afraid that someone is you.

Just when you think you're maxed out...

Life serves you another overwhelming challenge.

We could be seriously pressured at work, seriously pressured at home, millions of little problems swarming around in our head, when all of a sudden we're "hit" with another challenge. A challenge that makes everything else seem like child's play.

I've trained myself to become "super-focused" when this happens. I analyze every aspect of the challenge at hand, facing it head on. I have learnt from experience that there is no other way. (Saying "why me?!" and sulking won't get you anywhere productive...)

It's interesting, though, how we are always surprised that we are capable of taking it on. Yes—it's hard, but we find ways to manage...

The thing is that life has a tendency to push us past our limits, forcing us to learn and define new ones. We become capable of dealing with bigger challenges. We grow up. Which is why challenges should be looked at with (at least some) positivity.

Movie review: Intouchables

I've been really busy lately working on a number of projects at work together with assuming leadership of another dept. which, let's just say, has been challenging (in a good way).

The other day, though, we were in for a surprise: my mother-in-law walked in, stated she was here to babysit and that we were going to the movies. You gotta love her! So my wife and I found ourselves kicked out of our home, on a quite night out. On the recommendation of my saint mother-in-law we went to see Intouchables, a French movie about the relationship between a paraplegic and his carer. Sounds morbid, I know... But the "babysitter" was adamant about it. So Intouchables it was...

...and what a movie it was!

Though you would never expect it, we were crying our eyes out with laughter. Yes, the movie takes place on a tragic background—I mean the guy is a paraplegic—but it focuses on the humor in their relationship and there is plenty of it. It is one of the funniest movies I have ever seen and I truly recommend it. In fact, I intend on seeing it again!

If you haven't yet seen it, go. Today! You won't regret it.

The difference between MTH and GTD

Do you Make Things Happen or do you Get Things Done? They may sound like similar actions, but they are actually two very different things.

Making something happen means you move a mountain. It means you pitch an absolutely crazy idea, but still get people to support and work for it. Making things happen means you champion an initiative, a concept, something that seems unattainable at first. Making things happen requires a lot of work, a lot of energy and a huge amount of determination (and patience).

Getting things done, on the other hand, is a shopping list. It's a checklist of tasks that you need to complete in a certain time. It's the nitty-gritty of making things happen, the details. With that said, though, you should not underestimate the importance of GTD, without it our ideas/initiatives/concepts are nothing but balloons filled with hot air... Which is why both are equally important.

Which are you: MTH, GTD or both? Just keep in mind that MTH without GTD is an unrealized dream.

It's never too late...

One thing I've learnt is that there is no time limit on getting a hold on your life and steering it to where you want it to go. I've also learnt that life tends to reward people who choose to follow their heart. It opens their eyes to the possibilities and opportunities out there and frees them to enjoy doing what they love. When you do what you love, all other things—fulfillment, happiness, even money—fall into place!

The thing is, though, that life tends to push you towards taking control. If we continue in the grind that is our unfulfilled life, ignoring the unhappiness we feel, excusing the miserableness in our gut, life will continue to challenge us (read: smack us in the face). You can continue to ignore this, but it never goes away. Being unhappy is a feeling that sinks in deep.

If you feel it's time for a change, make it happen. Start by drafting your plan, put it down on paper. Review it, refine it. Be as prepared as you can be, and then, when you feel the time is right, just go for it. Take control of your life, follow your heart...

It's never too late.

Yearly review

Last week I had my yearly review at work. Being my first year, this was my first review. But what it really was, was my first yearly review ever. The first time I sat down and got reviewed by my manager—who is not my dad—just like every other employee.

It was awesome! Just sitting there and getting candidly reviewed, without the emotional/familial ties, was priceless.

I truly enjoyed it (and so did my ego)!

The list keeper

Keeping meticulous lists of who owes you what, in my mind, is as bad as holding a grudge. If you say things like: "I took him out for dinner, he owes me" or "I helped her with that project, she should be more grateful" or "I helped them with their mortgage, they should be more respectful" then you are not generous. You are not, because you did what you did with the expectation of getting something in return.

That's not how generosity works. There are no angles in generosity, no hidden agendas or motives. Generosity is the act of giving without expecting anything in return. If you are expecting, then you're just a dealer of favors (which is fine as long as you and the other person are aware of it).

The thing I learnt though, about being generous, is that it always comes back to you: people will want to be generous back to you. That's just the way it works.

There really is no point in keeping lists. None.

You have great ideas too

Here's a vivid memory I have from several years ago:
A management meeting. There are about 15 people in the room, trying to solve a marketing conundrum. It had something to do with the way we would deliver software to our customers. About half way through the meeting, I had a brainwave and offered my solution to the team. The software developers all nodded in agreement that it would be easily programmed. The marketing people nodded in agreement that it would be customer-friendly and simple. I had green lights across the board. And to sum it all up, my dad said: "OK, If he's right we'll go ahead with his idea"...

Can you spot it? Can you spot the lack of confidence? The smack in the face? It's very small, but it was enough to burst my little bubble of pride. There I was with this idea that everyone in the room agreed was great. Everyone except one—my dad. It wasn't enough for him. He had to question it... "If he's right..." That little word that would question my abilities, my talent and my worth over and over again.

It's a completely different story today. My ideas are not "if-ed", they are taken seriously. They are listened to, discussed and considered. They are respected. And at times they are just accepted, right then and there, no questions asked.

I have great ideas. So do you.