How good are you?

When you think about this question, is the first thought one of comparison? Do you compare yourself to someone else? Do you measure yourself based on someone else's success or failure (as perceived by you)? Maybe you don't really know... Maybe the stories you choose to tell yourself when you try to measure your worth are biased tales of inferiority and failure.

If you are not being successful at measuring yourself, here's a little tip that can help: Firstly, stop doing the "measuring" all by yourself—if you are digging the pit of inferiority and failure, it's hard to see the light. Instead, let others do the measuring for you. The only thing you need to do is be attentive to the little queues they leave. Here are examples:

• People asking for your advice/opinion
• People asking for your company at lunch
• People who notice you are away
• Your colleagues complimenting you on a job well done

If you stop ignoring the little things, which tend to happen every single day, you will see that you actually mean something to someone(s). That you are liked and respected and meaningful. And the more you notice these signals, the easier it will become to answer the question!

So, how good are you?

Micro tears

Do you know how muscles are built? When we exercise and strain a muscle, we create little micro tears in its tissue. The more we exercise it and the more resistance and strain we add, the more tears we rip through it. The damage triggers the body into action and it quickly works to mend the torn tissue. In doing so it builds a stronger, bigger muscle—one that is ready to take on even more weight.

I've realized recently, that life is the same way. As we take on new challenges and explore new directions, we exercise our "muscle". We stretch it into making sense of the new, unknown experience, straining it to figure things out. These are our micro tears; some are more significant than others—leaving the business, for one—others less so. But all, in some way, rip our tissue and we must mend it. Unlike the body though, that "automatically" repairs the muscle, we need to choose to mend it. And the only way to do this is to choose to learn from the experience. Learning makes us stronger and more resilient, better prepared for our next challenge.

Looking back over the (nearly) 6 years since I've left the family business, I've recognized that as hard as it was to leave, and the incredible turmoil it had created in my life, the stronger I have become. Learning is about finding the silver lining and leveraging it to become better—as hard as it may be.

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I know I haven't posted here for a very long time. I think it was the fact that I had moved past the actual leaving "event" that I was emptied of content. Recently though a friend and fellow leaver, poked me to start sharing again, and that sparked the flame...

So, I'm back!

I don't know where the blog will go from here, but I think sharing my experiences with my family post-leaving can serve this community well, so that's where I'll start. Stay tuned.