Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Leaving day

Will be one of the toughest days of your life. Mine was a hell of mixed emotions: Happiness, sadness, guilt... A reader who wrote me the other day subtly put it: "It is a lot like witnessing your own memorial."

The time leading up to the leaving day was really stressful. My dad, who refused to accept my leaving, left the workload handover for the last minute. I remember handing over all my responsibilities and how possessive I became of them. They were mine to carry for so long, and now I had to let them go. On one hand there was this feeling of relief, but on the other there was this great big hole...

The toughest part, though, was saying goodbye to all the people I had spent most of the hours of my day with for the past 13 years. Walking by each office to say farewell was a guilt-trip if there ever was one. I felt like I was abandoning them. I felt like a looser for not sticking it out. I had managed to muster a fake smile, but it didn't really help much.

My dad had left early that day. I didn't even say goodbye to him. I took my last box, scanned my memory-filled, empty office and walked home.

But, as I always say, I have never looked back. Leaving day was just another step on the road to following my heart...

It'll be two year in October. My wife and I actually celebrate the day. The day we finally became free.

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