Monday, February 7, 2011

So what's your dark passenger?

The "dark passenger" (don't you love Dexter?) is a subconscious presence that awakens every now and then requiring "feeding".

My dark passenger is self-worth, or lack of. Every now and then it pops into my conscious, and does its best to remind me of how unworthy I am. I could be sitting in a business meeting or drinking beer with my buddies when suddenly it just takes over. At its worst, I could find myself in the midst of an anxiety attack.

Self worth has always been an issue. I guess growing up with a demanding father who was never 100% pleased with whatever results I brought home is what did it.

But since leaving the family business, my passenger has been kept in check. Even when it does stick out its head I am capable of locking it away again. I'm not sweeping anything under the carpet, on the contrary. When it does show up, I acknowledge its presence and thank it for reminding me—by contrast—just how worthy I actually am.

It goes right back to sleep after this.

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